Should I Marry? (Genesis 2:15-25) 11/10@HCC 주일예배

1. Introduction: Her ideal man 

Simple question:

Should I marry?

Should I get married?

Do I have to get married?

 

What do you think?

What's your answer?

 

 

----here is a stroy---- 

When my mom was 18

She asked God

"Oh Lord, 

please let me marry a man 

who doesn't drink at all.

Please send me a man who never even touches a drink."

 

One day I asked her

"Mom. Why did you pray like that?"

 

And she gave me a story: 

The story was about her lushy uncles and rum-dum brothers. 

When she was young, they were heavy drinkers.

And they made problems in her family. 
She developed an extremely strong dislike for "drunken men." 

 

Her prayer request

directly came from

her negative experiences

when she was young.

 

You know what?

My daddy can not drink at all, never. 

(But here’s the catch: he had other issues: He gambled and cheated)

......

 

Sometimes I think...

"her prayer request didn’t come from the Bible,

Instead, it came from her bad experiences, in her past."

Of course, God works together for good. 

But I still sometimes wonder. 

‘What if her prayer request was just from the Bible?’

instead came from her own experiences?

 

If she’d prayed for the kind of man the Bible says?

What might have happened?

 

in the same way... 

What if we'd prayed directly / based on what the Bible says,

rather than, just on our own personal thinkings?

What might have happened?

 

...........

Sometimes we can  fall into the same trap. 

We often follow our own experiences 

instead of looking to the Bible.

 

Let me ask you, 

what's your prayer request?

Specifically, how do you pray about marriage?

The Bible Is the source of that prayer?

or just came from your thought or experiences?

 

Are you praying

based on what you’ve gone through,

or

on what the Bible says?

In this message, 

we're gonna look at Genesis 2:15-25 together.

We’ll see what God says about marriage.

 

 

 

2. reading the scripture  

Let's read Genesis 2:15-25 all together. 

15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
16 And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden;
17  but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. 

He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; 

and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, 

the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. 

But for Adam no suitable helper was found.  
21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; 

and while he was sleeping, 

he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' 

for she was taken out of man."
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother 

and be united to his wife, 

and they will become one flesh.
25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

 

 

 

3. God Who Made Marriage 

Do you ever just stop and think

your marriage is not about you, 

but about God?

 

I mean, 

God of the universe
the creator of everything

He, actually created the marriage?

 

let's say about an art. 

To really understand a work of art,

we need to know "who made it." 

 

Marriage is the same;

it shows us something about the one who made it.

 

To understand marriage,

we need to look at

who designed it....

 

We will consider what the Bible says about the marriage / in the following five points.

 

(1) God created the lack first (Genesis 2:18). 

(2) God makes us realise our deficiency (Gen. 2:19-20).
(3) God Guides Spouses (Genesis 2:21-22).

(4) God's recognition of spouses (Gen. 2:23).

(5) God Commands Marriage (2:24-25).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(1) God created the lack first (Genesis 2:18). 

v.18 

The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’

 

The design of marriage begins here: A man with a deficiency.

Earlier, Lord God had said "it was very good" (Gen. 1:31)

but here, God said it's "not good"

not good.... for what?

 

wait!

It's very good or not good? 

 

God created man needing a ‘helper’ 돕는 배필.

This is where the design of marriage starts:

Some lacking man, 

who has an empty place in the spouse.

 

To be alone is not good.. 

in other word, there is a 'Deficiency' in the man God created. 

 

weird.

what's that for?

to be alone is not good.

but it looks good before God?

humm... let's think more about it. 

 

결론부터 말하자면, The bottom line is that

it was good in God's sight,

including the not-good part. 

First, having a need or lack isn’t a bad thing.

actually it's an important purpose.

For an example, 

If you don't hungry,

then you don't eat

and might starve,

and you could die.

 

If we never got sick,

we wouldn’t need to heal.

 

like that...

 

God created man with needs, not good for being alone. 

It means God created man who natually in the need of his mate. 

There is a purpose, a reason. It's like a calling.

 

God, our Creator, designed men

to be drawn toward marriage.

God gave Adam a need for marriage, 

but He also gave him a choice on what to do with that need. 

 

God made this need to point toward marriage. 

When that need leads us toward marriage, 

it’s a good thing. 

 

But when we use that need to run away from marriage or do something harmful, it becomes a problem.

 

Some people say,

"I don’t care about marriage. I got hurt when I was a kid or in my last relationship before I came here."

It's like not even feeling a need. 

It’s kind of like someone who’s hurt but doesn’t feel any pain—they might not think they need marriage.

 

But remember,

God made us to need a spouse.

 

Don’t think of your "empty place" as a bad thing.

Use them for good. 

If you have a desire, don’t hide it or let it lead you into something wrong. 

Instead, look for God’s purpose in it. 

Brothers, pray, ‘God, send me my wife!’
and Sisters, pray, ‘God, lead me to my husband!’"

 

 

 

 

(2) God makes us realise our deficiency (Gen. 2:19-20)

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air.

He brought them to the man to see what he would name them;

and whatever the man called each living creature,

that was its name.
So the man gave names to all the livestock,

the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
(Genesis 2:19-20)

At the end of the six days of creation, there was a man, Adam. 

as u know... His first job was

the naming. 

 

God brought the animals to Adam

And God makes him to name them. 

 

Interestingly,

between the Words,

Adam needs 돕은 배필,

Adam needs 돕는 배필. 

God makes him to name the animals. 

 

So called, The A-B-A structure.

It appears frequently in the Bible.
Biblical scholars call this the ‘sandwich structure’. 
In other words,

something in the Bible is repeated in an A-B-A pattern. 
In this case, A is related to B.

 

it's like...
Bread-ham-bread
Then ham is related to bread. 

Let's look at verses 18, 19, 20. 

What is Bread, 18 and 20. naming animals. 

And what is the ham? v 19. "Adam needs 돕는 배필"

So how can we say?

[Adam needs 돕는 배필] - is related to - [Naming animals]

 

Here is God's purpose.

The first man was unaware of his deficiency. 
He was like a blank page, a pure life with nothing written on it. 
Adam was perfect, of course.

It was ‘very good’ in God's sight. 
The deficiency he was given was also good, 

because 

he was progressing toward marriage. 

 

For him,

naming animals was an excellent process for

recognising "he was alone, and it's now good" 

We are all descendants of Adam.

We don't recognise our own lack, emptiness, deficiency... 

We are led by God/ to a place of loneliness. 

Be grateful for the spousal absence / you're experiencing. 

 

Lack is tough,

loneliness is suffering.

But they are also hopeful.

As Romans 5:3 says,

suffering produces patience,

which produces endurance,

which produces hope

(Romans 5:3-4).

 

As you realise your deficiencies,

grow in your desire for marriage.

 

Hope for the marriage God designed.

 

(3) God Guides Spouses (Genesis 2:21-22)

So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
(Genesis 2:21-22)

When the naming task was complete, God put Adam into a deep sleep. 
He then formed Eve. 
When Adam opened his eyes, there was his wife.

This happened while he slept.

 

When can I Get Married?

(If you answer the following questions, you will also have an answer to this question)

When did God do His work for Adam's marriage?
When did God do His work of making Adam's wife?
When... Adam did what?

Sleeping!

Are you kidding me?

Getting marry is like that? 

Sleeping!

it's too easy.

Easy task! 

 

hey I got a job this time!
Congratulations! What's that for?
To prepare for marriage. 
Really? What's your job description?
To sleep. 
Wow. You have a really tough job!

 

what's it mean by that?

 

Let's think about sleeping in the Bible. 

There are "sleeping masters," in the Bible. 
▶ The Bible compared sleep to God's love:

......for He grants sleep to those He loves.

(Psalm 127:2)

 

▶ Two Josephes in the Old and New Testament,

They received vision from God while they.... slept

(Genesis 37:6-9; Matthew 1:20). 

 

▶ And we have the Peter. 

Among the sleep masters,

Apostle Peter

He was even more remarkable. 

The Apostle was also a sleep expert. 

 

Right after the apostle James was executed,

Apostle Peter was in the next turn.

He was about to be executed as well. 
But one thing Peter did in the prison... it was... sleep. 

 

He slept so deeply,

that's why an angel had to come and wake him up by

striking him on the side, here. 

 

How could he slept well?

Where did the slept come from?

What made him so courageous and peaceful like that much?

Because

he had no fear in the presence of the Holy Spirit.

The presence of the Spirit is the crowning glory of God's grace.
And it is faith that receives God's grace.

 

Anyway, 

Let's return to the story of Adam's sleep. 
How was Adam's deficiency filled? 

God's way of filling his deficiency was through sleep. 

Where God's grace was, where Adam's faith in God was at work, there was deep sleep.

Sleep is easy.

All he did while he slept was ‘dream’ 

or ‘be still’ at most. 

Bringing this "sleep story" to us,

We can see that

we don't have much to do about

meeting our "husband or wife" either. 

 

Let's take a look at dreaming and staying still. 

First, let's think about ‘dreaming’. 
Dream of a holy marriage. 

 

Do not think about the aspects of any marriages you have experienced,

(such as your parents' marriage,

the marriages of other adults in your family,

or divorced couples,

or married couples,

or any kind of your marriage experiences...)

 

Do not bring your own alternatives to those experiences; 

instead, simply look to the Bible. 

 

Dream about what marriage is supposed to look like there.
For an example, ‘My dad drank a lot, and it made things difficult at home.

So I'm looking for a man who doesn't drink.’

Throw out that kind of “alternative” thinking. 

Instead, look at "Who is the man, the Bible says?"

 

Again. 

Dream the truth, not the alternative. 

Escape your experience, like... you've never failed

because your life is new in Jesus. 

Hold on to the truth of the Bible,

the marriage manual is in here.

and dream of the marriage written there. 

 

And also,

think about ‘being still.’ 

If you want to dream, then you should be still. Dont move. 

..takes faith to be still.

 

Use your faith.
The Faith that God is leading, 

The faith that the Lord is preparing your husband or wife near at hand,

The faith that the One who made marriage will also make it work!

Think of a loving father to his little child. 
I am a daddy too. I have two beautiful little girls.

I remember when my daughter was three years old,

I kept a water bottle near her so that she could find the water bottle for herself. 
And I remember guiding her to drink when she found it. 

The love of God the Father is also directed toward His children. 

That's you.
He doesn't hide the spouse you need the most 

in some Antarctic base or in the middle of the Brazilian jungle and test you with ‘Find it!’

Instead, He keeps them close by

and guides them with kindness.
But you can't find this guidance unless you're still. 

We often think that

our mate will be someone very special and far away. 
You believe that there is no mate for you in the ‘here and now’. 
So you keep looking far away. 
But be still. 
Don't deliberately travel far to find your husband or wife. 
Just be still and look around you in your current situation. 

On the other hand,

being still means waiting.

Sure, here’s a version that sounds more like current college conversational English:

Remember

Finding your husband or wife, That’s pretty normal, ordinary thing. 

Like, "yeah, going to the movies and holding hands"—that's special and all.

But things like...

sharing prayer requests,

serving together,

or worshipping together?

That’s just everyday life.
Learn to chill

and be present in the middle of the "everyday stuff."

 

Go with the flow of life.
You can get to know her through sharing prayer requests.
When you go on short-term missions together,

you can see your sister's true self,
You get to know your brother's personality.

In worship, you can see how much the other person loves God. 
How do you get to know someone

when you go out hand-in-hand?

By seeing them on a date? 
The secret is in the ordinary. 

 

Don't look far away,

don't look for something special.

Be still and notice the mate who is already there, right now, near you.
Look to see who God is sending.

Keep your eyes open in every gathering and ministry.
Look at who is sitting next to you.

 

 

 

(4) God's recognition of spouses (Gen. 2:23)

The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’  (Gen.2:23)
When we are asked to look closely to see who is our spouse, a counter-question emerges. 
It is ‘how’ to recognise, ‘how’ to propose, and ‘how’ to develop the relationship into marriage. 
The ‘how’ is found in verse 23.
It's the song Adam sang to Eve. 

Verse 23 was a lusty song, a passionate serenade of love. 
The confession, ‘flesh of flesh, bone of bone,’ was only possible because he recognised her as his mate. 
God had done this; God had made her; God had led her.
When Adam opened his eyes, there was the mate God had led him to, and he recognised her immediately. 
Many singles search for their destined mate. But the Creator didn't put the burden of destiny on us. Rather, He left us to discover for ourselves: to find our needs and loneliness, and to find a mate to fulfil them.
The original designer of marriage was the Creator, but He included man's role in facilitating it. 

From verse 23, we learn that ‘discovering’ is the key word. 
Adam's recognition of Eve can also be seen as a discovery. 
Eve could have been lying next to him, but instead of a loving serenade, he could have said, ‘Who are you......?’ God had it all arranged.  
God had prepared it all, and Adam discovered it.
You have to have eyes to see.
To do that, you need Adam's purity.
You need the purity of accepting your needs as they are.
You need the purity to sleep when God sleeps.
You need the purity of sleeping when God sleeps.
You need the purity of dreaming while you sleep.
You need the purity of not doing anything extraordinary out of distrust of God's guidance.
You need the purity of preparing to meet your mate when there is an ordinary one waiting nearby.
And you need the purity to recognise when God has led you to a mate. 
Of course, purity is restored when you are clean, when you shake off your sins in repentance. 
Hold on to Jesus Christ and repent of a heart that is polluted by sin and hurt until He makes it new. 
Remember 1 Corinthians 5:17.


 

(5) God Commands Marriage (2:24-25)

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
(Genesis 2:24-15)

Look at the first name Adam gave Eve. She was the first to receive the gender identity of ‘woman’. 
The same rule applies to us. Brothers, give your spouse the identity of ‘woman’. 
Apply it, remembering that the method was love and song. 
Praise her for her feminine charms. 
Give her a loving name, give her a new identity. 
And sisters, don't just say no, but listen to the story. 
Don't wait for an unbiblical idealised man like ‘Chae Eun Woo’.
Don't look only at whether a man is tall or not.
Instead, when someone recognises you, say, ‘Thank God. The time has finally come!’ and praise God. Then, listen carefully to his song and his confession of love.
Also, prepare the great principles of marriage from the Bible. 
Create a situation where you leave your parents. 
Don't treat yourself as a child, but as a member of a couple who will have an independent household. 
Prepare for independence. 
Don't back down easily.
When one path is blocked, it means there is another.
Believe you can find it and go for it.
Marriage is God's design, so prepare for independence by trusting God to fulfil it. 
Also, be prepared to be naked and not ashamed. 
I don't mean just work on your abs and go on a diet.
Be ready to share your whole self in every aspect of your soul and body.
Prepare to be naked in your whole person.
Be prepared to be naked together before God, not just with each other, but before God. 
All preppers have a routine. This is true for those preparing to meet their spouse. 
Growth comes from discipline, and discipline comes from routine. 
Discipline your spirituality with a routine of on-time prayer and the Word. 
Train your intellect with a reading routine. 
Build your physical strength with an exercise routine. 
Persevere in faith, and be diligent in preparing your whole person to become ‘one flesh.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(아래는 maybe 다음 기회에...)

4. The Biblical ‘ideal’ prototype 

Now, let's answer the question, ‘Who should I marry?’ but this time with a little more specificity. 
Let's go back to verse 15. 
The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
(Genesis 2:15). 

(1) He is a man with a mission (2:15)

Again, sisters, pray for a man like this. 
Meanwhile, brothers, pray for this kind of man. 
First, he is a man with a mission. 
Adam was not the only one created as a deficient being, ‘a man for whom it was not good to be alone.’
Eden was also created as a place of deficiency. We see this in verse 15. 
The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
(Genesis 2:15). 

God gave Adam two tasks: one was to cultivate it, and the other was to keep it. Flipping this around, the Garden of Eden needed a tiller and it needed a keeper. Eden was built as a place that was deficient in these areas.
It's interesting to see the relationship of need and fulfilment between the Garden of Eden and Adam, because there was also a need-deficiency relationship between Adam and Eve. 

Recall the creation of Adam: He was a man with a ‘need’ for a ‘helper’. 
Look at the task Adam was given: The Garden of Eden was a place with the ‘need’ of a ‘tiller and keeper.’ 
Here's an illustration to connect the dots

The Garden of Eden, Adam, and Eve had a unique relationship of ‘need and fulfilment’. 
There, the husband was positioned between his wife and the world. 
Eve's presence fulfilled Adam's ‘helpmate’ deficit. 
Adam's presence filled the need for a ‘tiller and keeper’ in the Garden of Eden. 
God connected the three around Adam. 
Eve went out into the world through Adam at the end of the deficiency, and the world met Eve through Adam at the top of the fulfilment. 
Adam's role between the two was clear. 
It was to cultivate and guard the garden. 
In fulfilling this task, the couple was intimate with the world's need, and the world was satisfied with its fulfilment through the couple.
Adam was a man with a mission from God. 
The garden was safe because of Adam, and the husband was complete because of his wife. 
The first man connected the world and the home around the mission he had been given. 
The biblical ideal, the ‘man with a mission,’ has three characteristics. 

First, he is a cultivator. 
Let your ideal be a man who cultivates and protects the world between himself and his wife. 
Not only for sisters, but also for brothers. 
Having an ideal type starts with preparing yourself to live up to it. 
Be a ‘man with a mission’ first. 
For example, avoid a man who joins in the ‘hell-raising’ hype that is common among young men these days. 
Rather, if there is a man who has the attitude of creating ‘Heavenly Joseon’ as a mission from God: (1) Brothers, imitate such a man; (2) Sisters, seduce such a brother in the name of the Lord. At the same time, be the woman who helps him become the man who seeks to cultivate the world as God's earth.

Second, the man who keeps is the biblical ideal. 
Remember that Adam had the word of God and was charged with protecting the garden from all forces that would violate it (2:16, 17).
Embrace as your ideal a man who drives philosophies that violate the Word out of his society. 
Be a man who defends women and the world with the Word so that God's rule will continue. 
Be a woman who helps him become a man who protects God's rule by focusing on truth standards.

Third, men who know their mission are diligent. 
A man who doesn't know what he's supposed to be doing is lazy. This isn't just about busyness; it's much more fundamental than that.
If a person is thinking about how he should live his life and not praying or reading the Word, he is lazy.
Or if you're busy doing whatever it is you're doing, but you're doing it outside of your calling, that's laziness too. 
Zeal without a mission is not diligence. 
Take a farmer for example: his mission is to farm. 

But what if he is busy with other things and does not ‘plough his field in the autumn?’ (Prov. 20:4) 
The Christian's mission is to follow Christ. 
But what if we are so busy with other things that we neglect prayer and the Word?
Meanwhile, the way to avoid laziness and focus on your calling is close at hand. 
God is a loving Father. 
Your vocation is as close to you as your spouse. 
God doesn't keep your heavenly calling tucked away, far away from the scene of your life. 
He has mercifully placed it close by so that you can find it for yourself.
He is the one who guides you directly to your calling. 

The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. (Genesis 2:15).

Till and sow to make your environment a place where God's rule is practised. 

The application is personal. Every environment is different, but the principle is the same. 
Where? Here, where I am! 
When? Now, at any given time!
What? Cultivating and guarding the environment for God's reign! 

I would also like to counsel the sisters: If ‘men with a mission’ is what brothers are to be, remember that sisters have a mission to be ‘helpmates.’
The role of ‘helping companion’ is classy and difficult; it is not for everyone. It is an area that requires growth. Think about it. If you meet a man with a mission and you don't have the skills to help him, you will be wasting him. Prepare to be a better missionary than your Adam. Sharpen your wisdom through prayer and the repetition of prepared Bible knowledge. Repeat your faith in Jesus in your daily life. Continue to grow until you become the one behind salvation, like Zipporah, Moses' wife.

On the other hand, don't look for the finished product. Rather, look around you with the ability to transform a lesser man into a man of mission. Look for brothers who have potential. Don't overlook a man's potential for growth. Don't ignore the empty space in your life that a woman can fill. 
We've seen the story of Moses before: he was a middle-aged man who was a bit of a bum. He was a criminal and an old bachelor. But he was a man of possibility. Even though he was a fugitive with no identity, wandering between Israel and Egypt, the Ten Commandments changed him. 
Remember. Find a man with a future in God's mission and nurture him. Feed him the Word in time, clothe him in prayer, and sow the seeds of tears with him in the field of ministry. I've heard this from someone close to me, and a man who is thriving is surprisingly cuter than a pet dog.

 

 

(2) The man who delivers the Word (Genesis 2:16, 17)
The second aspect of the biblical ideal is the ‘man with the Word’. Look at verses 16 and 17. 
And the LORD God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden;
but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.’
(Genesis 2:16-17)

Adam received the word from God. He did so before Eve (2:16-22). Later, after they became husband and wife, Eve would have received the word of God through her husband, i.e., Eve was in a relationship where the word was fulfilled through Adam.

Consider again Adam's task here, ‘to keep.’ 
What would have happened if Adam hadn't given Eve the forbidden fruit? Wouldn't Eve have had the standard of the forbidden fruit, that if she ate of it, she would surely die? Wouldn't she have remained exposed to the risk of death? If so, she would have taken the fruit, which was ‘as good for food as for knowledge’ (Gen. 3:6), and would have died long before she did, and she would have died in innocence, with no knowledge of what had happened to her? Would the blame then have been placed on her brother Adam, who of course had received the word before her, but had not preached it? 

Without the knowledge of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, Eve could have died.
Without Adam, Eve's life is in danger. 
Here, Adam's task of ‘guarding’ the Garden of Eden is linked to his task of ‘giving the word’ to Eve.
To explain this a bit further, let's use a technical term. ‘Moral rule.’ This means rule by legal standards.
In the original Garden of Eden, God's ‘moral rule’ was based on a single word. 
Now consider the following 

(1) There was one Word in the Garden of Eden: the command to eat and drink and the prohibition. 
(2) If anyone broke that command in the garden, they would die. This was the law. 
(3) The knowledge of the law was pre-existent in Adam. Adam would have communicated this law to Eve. Adam is the bearer of the law.
(4) One of the duties of God's lawgiver was to ‘keep’ it. 
(5) It is natural to connect moral rule with the act of keeping. If we were to give Adam a title, we might call him the ‘keeper of the law.’ 
(6) The people and places where there is moral government by law. This means ‘the state.’ 
(7) Rule by the Word of God and the upholding of the law by men of God, so it is not unreasonable to call it the ‘kingdom of God.’

If you've made it this far, you can now paint a little more of a picture.

 

The key to the Garden of Eden becoming the kingdom of God was included in Adam's mission.
The way to rescue and protect Eve from death was also part of Adam's mission.
When Adam executed God's moral governance, he was able to "guard" both the Garden of Eden and his wife.
Here, we find the second aspect of the biblical ideal man.
He is the "man who proclaims the Word."
A man living as a messenger of the Word has three characteristics.

 

First, he is hostile. 
It is easy to understand this by using the word "to guard" in various sentences.
"A soldier guards the country. A boxing champion defends his title. A mother bird protects the nest with her chicks..." 
The act of guarding is inherently hostile.
A soldier fights against the enemy. A boxing champion strikes his opponent. A mother bird attacks intruders. 
The same applies to protecting God's moral governance.
He is aggressive toward all beings that seek to destroy the Word.
He has righteous indignation. In the face of all philosophical attempts to undermine the truth, he is a serious fighter.
He is an aggressive destroyer against all practical structures that oppose God's moral governance.

 

Second, he is humble. 
Adam's mission to "guard" comes with clear standards. The weapon of his hostility is the Word.
He did not create this weapon himself; it was handed down to him by the Creator.
Just as a soldier does not compete with the nation, and a champion doesn’t fight outside the ring, the messenger of the Word does not alter the law.
He is someone who first receives teaching from God.
He is a second-in-command who cannot fight on his own.
He is a spiritual warrior who lives and dies by God's Word.
He is humble.

Third, he repents. 
If a thief teaches others not to steal, who would listen to him?
Before he can deliver the Word, he must first apply it to himself to fulfill his mission.
Adam had to keep the Word he had received first.
Only then could he proclaim it. For us, this translates to repentance.
A true messenger kneels before the Word first. He is diligent in his repentance.

 

(3) The Man with Deficiencies (Genesis 2:18)
Another aspect can be seen in the phrase, "It is not good for the man to be alone."
Let’s read verse 18 together.
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
(Genesis 2:18)
Adam was created as a man with deficiencies. He did not have a "helper suitable for him." This shows us the third aspect of the biblical ideal man. 
A man with deficiencies is someone who is not perfect on his own. He always needs God and requires a wife that God sends him. A man who thinks he is happiest when he is alone is far from the biblical ideal. The same goes for a man who is full of himself.
Brothers, be the kind of man who knows his own weaknesses. Be a man who doesn’t get hurt too much when his flaws are shown in front of women.
Instead, humbly say, "That’s why I need you!"
Sisters, avoid the "I’m so great" type of man. They are not your ideal. Stay away from men who try to fill their deficiencies with anything other than God. Instead, focus on the biblical ideal. Look for a man who knows his weaknesses and is willing to seek help.
At the same time, be a woman who helps such a man become better. Be a healer for those who have a "prince syndrome." Be a trainer for those who struggle with unnecessary pride.

 

(4) The Man Who Fulfills the Work of Marriage (Genesis 2:19-22)
The fourth aspect of the biblical ideal man is one who accomplishes God's work. In the Bible, we see that God created Adam as a being with deficiencies and brought him the best partner to fill that gap. God commanded them to become one body. However, between Adam's deficiencies and the guidance of a partner, there was the task of naming the animals (let's read verses 19 and 20 together).

 

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found (Genesis 2:19-20). 

This was God's work in two ways. 

First, it was God's process of bringing about marriage,

and Second, it was God's guidance in action. 

Of course, Adam completed both tasks.
Here, we find the fourth aspect of the biblical ideal man. 
He is a man who fulfills the work of marriage. 
For example, look at Boaz from the book of Ruth. 
Notice how Ruth, following the advice of her mother-in-law Naomi, secretly went to Boaz's bedroom at night. 
She intended to spend the night with Boaz (Ruth 3:3-5). 
She wanted to marry him. However, Boaz quietly sent her away (Ruth 3:13). 
It wasn’t because he didn’t want to marry her. Boaz also wanted to marry her. 
But according to the law of that time, in order to ensure the marriage was done safely, Boaz had to... well, you know... wait that night (Ruth 3:12). 
A man who gave up a passionate night was busy preparing for marriage the next morning (Ruth 3:15, 18). 
This is a surprising scene for a man.

 

His girlfriend sneaks into his bed at night. 
She even dresses nicely and tries to seduce him. 
But the man refuses!" It’s a situation that would make any guy ask, 

"Why?!"

Now, don’t get too excited; listen carefully. 
The reason Boaz sent her away was to ensure a proper marriage.
To understand this, we need to know about the "kinsman-redeemer" law. 
Simply put, in that culture, a widow couldn’t support herself. 
She could end up starving or getting sick and dying.
So, the Israelites made special laws for widows. 
A widow could remarry someone from her deceased husband’s family. 
However, order was important. 
They decided whether to take the widow as a wife based on the rank among family members.
Now, let's go back to Boaz, who sent Ruth away. 
If they had spent the night together, Boaz would have broken the kinsman-redeemer law. 
This is because there was a closer relative (Ruth 4:1). 
If that relative decided to marry Ruth, she would be in big trouble. 
She would be labeled as an immoral woman for having spent the night with Boaz. 

This would not only be a problem for Boaz but could also lead to her facing severe consequences. 
If they had shared that night, Boaz wouldn’t have been able to marry Ruth. 
Knowing this well, Boaz sent her away and worked diligently for marriage.
When you read the context, it becomes clear that Boaz wanted to marry Ruth.
As soon as he sent her away, he went to find the closer relative to ensure he wouldn’t marry Ruth (Ruth 4:4).
Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, also recognized how much Boaz wanted to marry Ruth (Ruth 3:18).
The last verse of Ruth 3 says that Boaz would not rest until he accomplished the work of marriage. 
The hot night with Ruth wasn’t the issue; fulfilling the marriage was the key. 
That is what makes him a man. 
Brothers, look ahead. Fulfill the work of marriage. 
Sisters, test it out. Look for a man who accomplishes the work of marriage. At the same time, help your future husband to be a man who fulfills the work of marriage.

 

 

(5) The Man with a Passionate Song (Genesis 2:23)
Another aspect of the biblical ideal man is the one who confesses his love.
First, listen to the love serenade Adam sang when he met Eve.
That’s in verse 23.
The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." (Genesis 2:23)

Through this song, we can find three characteristics of the singing man. 
First, he is a man who recognizes his wife. 
If Adam had opened his eyes and looked at Eve, saying, “Huh? Who are you?” the story would be very different. Adam recognized Eve right away. 

As soon as he saw her, he called her "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh."

 

Bone of my bones!
For example, if we’re talking about the skull bone, not just any finger bone or arm bone, that’s significant.

 

Flesh of my flesh!
And if we mean heart flesh, not just earlobe or thigh flesh, that’s very important!

If something is wrong or missing, it affects my life.
I would face a big problem.
I need you.
You are a precious and irreplaceable part of me.
Adam had the ability to recognize his partner. 
He wasn’t just a guy who fell in love at first sight. 
He had the awareness to know if she was truly his other half. 
This ability doesn't just happen overnight. 
Even Adam had to go through a time of understanding his own deficiencies.
So, it’s clear that we today, filled with sin, might struggle even more than Adam did. 
The ability to recognize your partner requires training.

This process follows the steps Adam took. 
Step 1 is walking with God.
Adam walked with God and received his mission and heard the Word first.
Today, it’s the same. The first step is to walk with God and hold onto His Word as a man with a calling.

Step 2 is recognizing your deficiencies.
Adam learned about his shortcomings by naming the animals.
We also need to follow through with the tasks God has given us.
Step 2, the step to recognize your partner, is also about working hard.

Finally,

Step 3 is to sleep.
Remember, when God made Eve, He caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep (Genesis 2:21). Adam met Eve after he had a good sleep. When he woke up, he recognized her. 
To apply this to our lives, we need to trust God's guidance and be willing to rest in His plans. 
We’ll discuss this part more in the next verses. Let’s read verses 21 to 25 together again. 

 

So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man."
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

(창 2:21-25)

 

 

(6) The Sleeping Man (Genesis 2:21-25)
Look at how God gave a vision to Joseph, a country shepherd boy, to become the prime minister of Egypt. 
When did Joseph discover that vision? 
What did Joseph do to find God's vision? 
He slept. 
Joseph was a dreamer. 
In other words, he was someone who was asleep. A similar situation happened with Adam. While God was making his helper, Adam was also sleeping. He had nothing else to do, so he just slept.
The reason God made Adam fall into a deep sleep was probably because He was going to do surgery. 
He took one of Adam's ribs to create Eve (2:22). 
If a patient wakes up during surgery, that's a big problem. 

He might have gone into shock. Adam needed to stay deeply asleep while his partner was being created. 

He absolutely couldn’t wake up in the middle of it; he could have been shocked to death.

 

Adam was, in short, a man who was asleep until God and his wife woke him up in the marriage relationship. 
Here, we can find another example of the biblical ideal man.

 

Brothers, stay asleep until your future wife wakes you up. 
Reject pornography and dream of marriage. 

A sexual desire that has never been awakened by a wife is not in the marriage manual.

If someone else has already stirred up your sexual desires, repent. Ask God to renew you. Crucify the awakened man on the cross. Die with the Lord and rise with Him. Take up the consequences of ongoing temptations and sins as 'your own cross,' like a man. And even if it’s heavy, follow the Lord. Go through the process of recognizing your lack, so that you may develop the vision to identify who your wife truly is. Return to rest.

 

Here’s the translation into American English:

"Sisters, be cautious of brothers who have an awakened sexuality. 

A man who has already lost what you should carefully awaken after becoming his wife is far from the biblical ideal. 

No matter how attractive he may be, no matter his achievements or his six-pack, steer clear of such a brother. 

At the same time, extend support to sinners who are struggling with unrestrained desires, even though they are not yet married.

Do not follow your boyfriend or husband into impurity. 

Instead, help him wisely to restore his purity. Repent together. 

But be careful—if handled roughly, it may have the opposite effect. 

To put it back to rest, it must be handled gently.

Sing a lullaby of love, and embrace him warmly with care.

---

Prayer
Alright, let's wrap it up with prayer.
Today, we’ve looked at a portion of God’s Word, spoken by our Creator who designed marriage and sexuality. 
Scripture contains answers to all of life’s questions. 
Today, we looked at the latter part of Genesis chapter 2. 
Through this, we saw who God is as the Maker of marriage and gained insight into the kind of person we should marry. 
We may have also been prompted to reflect on the kind of spouse we should strive to be.
Now, let’s pray. 
Let’s lift our voices and pray together, holding onto the message given to us today. 
Afterwards, three people who feel moved by God can pray. 
Then we’ll close. 
Let's pray."